“When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk."
I think that there is no way to gracefully recover after waving to somebody who was actually waving to the person behind you...
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My Mallu friend from Kerala and I decided to have a moustache growing contest. She won.
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The one thing that's wayyy worse than an awkward silence, is when that silence is broken by an awkward "Soooo anyways....."
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ICC: It's all PCB's fault!
PCB: It's BCCI's fault!
BCCI: It's all Lalit Modi's fault!
Lalit Modi: This fault is brought to you by MicroMax.
PCB: It's BCCI's fault!
BCCI: It's all Lalit Modi's fault!
Lalit Modi: This fault is brought to you by MicroMax.
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Yes, Internet Explorer, you go right ahead and display the non-secure items...I too like to live dangerously.
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I hate it when I sing along with the radio and the damn artists messes up the words.
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My friend Hemant Baid used to have a lot of pimples.
One day he fell asleep in the library and woke up to find a blind man was reading his face.
One day he fell asleep in the library and woke up to find a blind man was reading his face.
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My friend Rahul Titus found a really nice concept where people are naming the food they keep in the fridge. Yesterday he ate a yoghurt called "Debbie"
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Amazon.com:
Thank you for buying "Justin Bieber: My World 2.0"
People who bought this product also bought: "Vaseline"
Thank you for buying "Justin Bieber: My World 2.0"
People who bought this product also bought: "Vaseline"
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Hemant Baid (to teacher): I dont think I deserve the 0 you gave me on the test
Teacher: Neither do I..but thats the lowest I could give
Teacher: Neither do I..but thats the lowest I could give
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Sonam Khetan, Guncha Sharma and Sucheta Mittra called and asked me to help with a jigsaw puzzle.
I asked "What's it supposed to be when it's finished?"
"According to the picture on the box, a tiger."
I went over, studied the pieces for a moment, looked at the box, turned to them and said,
"We can never make this tiger. Let's have a cup of coffee and then" I sighed, "put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
I asked "What's it supposed to be when it's finished?"
"According to the picture on the box, a tiger."
I went over, studied the pieces for a moment, looked at the box, turned to them and said,
"We can never make this tiger. Let's have a cup of coffee and then" I sighed, "put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
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I stop my microwave at 1 second...just to feel like a bomb diffuser
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My friend is the merchandise manager for Manchester United Football Club.
They had some shirts made but it turned out the printer was dyslexic.
The shirts were printed with F U M C across the front.
They can't believe it, but they've sold thousands...
They had some shirts made but it turned out the printer was dyslexic.
The shirts were printed with F U M C across the front.
They can't believe it, but they've sold thousands...
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My friend Siddharth Agarwal lip syncs his farts. So it looks like he only burped.
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thinks that people who investigate strange noises in horror movies deserve to die.
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Not many people knew that Albert Einstien had a brother that an evil scientist used to experiment on.His name was Frank Einstien.
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All I want for Christmas is an electronic gadget that won't be obsolete by New Year's
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I saw on the news:
'Parachute team die in plane crash'
Couldn't they just have jumped out?
'Parachute team die in plane crash'
Couldn't they just have jumped out?
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Everything is easier said then done. Except for talking......that's about the same.
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I hope I'm the last guy on earth, I wanna see if all these women have been lying to me.
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How to break up with someone:
"Darling I think you're being followed"
"Why?"
"Because I've been seeing people behind your back"
"Darling I think you're being followed"
"Why?"
"Because I've been seeing people behind your back"
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Rahul Titus avoids "online dating sites" because they match you up with people who share your interests..and he doesn’t want to go out with a weirdo...
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Next time you go to a restaurant and ask for a Coke
If the waiter asks "Is Pepsi ok?"
you should reply "Is Monopoly money ok?"
If the waiter asks "Is Pepsi ok?"
you should reply "Is Monopoly money ok?"
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Fool people into thinking you have a social life by going offline for a few hours..
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I have decided to produce and sell an alcoholic drink called "Responsibly"
And all the other drinks makers will be advertising for me on their cans with the slogan "please drink Responsibly"
And all the other drinks makers will be advertising for me on their cans with the slogan "please drink Responsibly"
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Prapti Doshi is still angry at me cause I called her fat last month....well you know what they say: Elephants never forget
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I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.
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Both, politicians and diapers, need to be changed often. And for the same reason.
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Vishesh Jayawant has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Bannerghatta zoo
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And we are up!
Andddddd we're up!
A few months after my BCom is over and after a lot of hours into researching how I could make my site interesting, I think I have hit upon it!
Looking at how much time I spend on the internet, I’m looking at making this site more of a compilation of the most interesting things I come across.
Add to that, things I do and think and come up with and we have a winner! A fun website!
Therein we arrive at the name THINGS I THINK - simply because everything that comes up on this page is something I have thought about for sometime atleast :)
(Please do not try to abbreviate the name of the blog. It will be hazardous to its publicity haha)
The first thing I’m thinking right now is that website building is too complicated for the average user! The parameters and the specifications, the settings and the technicalities should all be simplified by the super geniuses for us lower mortals. More like a drag and drop.
If you turned up at my site expecting my professional profile/portfolio and such: sorry! I’m too cool for all that..ha!
Looking at how much time I spend on the internet, I’m looking at making this site more of a compilation of the most interesting things I come across.
Add to that, things I do and think and come up with and we have a winner! A fun website!
Therein we arrive at the name THINGS I THINK - simply because everything that comes up on this page is something I have thought about for sometime atleast :)
(Please do not try to abbreviate the name of the blog. It will be hazardous to its publicity haha)
The first thing I’m thinking right now is that website building is too complicated for the average user! The parameters and the specifications, the settings and the technicalities should all be simplified by the super geniuses for us lower mortals. More like a drag and drop.
If you turned up at my site expecting my professional profile/portfolio and such: sorry! I’m too cool for all that..ha!
Welcome!
Hi...
Welcome to my blog!!
There's tonnes I have planned for this page.
Maybe I'll get down to it as soon as I'm done with B.Com...can you believe that thats what stresses me out the most?! :O
Watch this space,
Maulik
And now that you're here anyway:
I thought I'd give you something interesting to read. It's an anecdote sourced from Readers Digest. Here you go:
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up eating beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the dinner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly:
'Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.' He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than stinking cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.
He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused:
'Happy Birthday!'!! I nearly died!!!
The site is going to have tonnes of fun stuff so keep checking here...
Maulik
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